Many parents worry about finding the “right” activity for their child as quickly as possible, especially with the college admissions landscape becoming increasingly competitive every year. However, finding “their thing” is not a one-and-done process; it is about giving children the space to explore who they want to become and the opportunity to be part of that decision.
Having a very outgoing daughter who is curious to try just about anything, finding her “thing” has been a little more challenging. When my first child was born, I equated finding her thing with figuring out what her passion might be as early as possible. Did she gravitate to the kitchen and food play? Or was she more of the type that liked to play doctor? And if so, what did that tell me about her? As you can probably guess, each play station at school had its season and captivated her interest, but nothing really stuck.
With time, I started to realize that lifelong passion is simply not the goal when starting new activities. The job market will change when my children are old enough to go to college, and so will their interests. To find their “thing” simply means to learn what they enjoy and what they don’t enjoy. The important part of starting activities early on is the opportunity to build a sense of identity through experiences they have growing up. For example, it has taken my daughter two years of ballet to learn that where she really shines is performing, and it took my son a semester of a filmmaking class to realize that he wasn’t really into being in front of the camera, but he sometimes enjoyed being the one behind it.
The great thing about starting new activities early on is that they tend to be low-pressure and low-stakes. Most classes aimed at kids in elementary school are more exploratory and hands-on, which tap into their natural curiosity and openness to new experiences. More importantly, because they are young, there is still time to make mistakes and decide that an activity isn’t really for them before investing a great deal of time or energy into it.
New activities are also a great way to build skills outside the classroom. Starting early helps them feel confident in what they are doing and master the basics quickly. Starting a Snowplow Sam class on basic ice skating skills, for example, is a little less daunting than starting a beginner ice skating class as a teenager. Little wins are encouraged more in younger classes, which also helps boost confidence.
Trying something new also helps children build problem-solving skills and encourages social growth, as they are often able to meet a different set of kids and adults outside their classroom, which exposes them to new personalities and new conflict-management skills. It is also a great way to make new friends!
Children tend to be very curious and often become immediately interested (and sometimes just as easily disinterested) in new things. It is important to note that balance goes beyond choosing a range of sports, academic, and creativity-based clubs. Other questions you might also want to consider are whether the type of activity style matches your child’s personality. For example, do they work better in teams or alone? Do they prefer high-energy, very hands-on activities, or something quieter?
Encouraging kids to try new things can be a challenge, but framing them as experiments rather than obligations keeps it low stakes. Many activities offer one-day trials, which are a great way to get a sense of the environment and style of the activity leader as well as other students. After an activity is completed, ask reflective questions such as “What part was fun?” Or “what felt tricky?” It can help you better understand your children’s areas of interest or difficulty.
If you’re unsure whether the activities in your child’s calendar are “their thing,” remember that the goal in elementary school isn’t about mastery but about exposure. Each new experience gives you the chance to explore what is interesting, what is challenging, and what skills need work. Over time, those small pieces of information add up into bigger discoveries that help guide them towards their true interests.
